Ashley's
birthday special!
I'm
sorry did I miss something? If I
was running for my life I would not
be describing the room I had ran into. More like I would be freaking
out and as the author I would be writing about the emotions running
through my body in the heat of the moment.
In The Serpent's Shadow by
Rick Riordan there's a scene with main character, Carter Kane, who is
being chased by a crazy bull with lazer beams (don't ask). He's
running through a maze and the poor 15 year old character is freaking
out, having no plan or idea of how to get out of this mad situation.
A character running next to him, Zia Rashid, pulls him down a side
entrance with her and they enter a great room. Now Carter Kane is
describing the room in the heat of the battle with the crazy bull on
his tail.
It's awkward!
I know some of you may
disagree here but it doesn't add up.
Honestly,
if you really want to
describe that room than please wait until after your character has
defeated the crazy bull shooting lazer beams at him/her.
The
only exception is this common writing mistake is during the fight.
When your character is desperate for something
to help them out, then your character will be quickly scanning the
room in desperation.
I'm not entirely criticizing
Riordan's move in this particular scene but maybe you could have
stationed that one paragraph into another scene.
Also in this different
situation with Rick Riordan's novels, his previous series (Heroes of
Olympus and Percy Jackson and the Olympians) the main characters have
ADHD and dyslexia. Those characters are going to be running into a
room chased by some ungodly creature and yes they are going to be
scanning that room as quickly as they can because of their condition/
ability.
In
the Kane Chronicles, the characters are normal kids with the blood of
the pharaohs (ok not so normal as they may appear) but when did they
have ADHD? They don't but the only excuse here is the character was
on adrenaline in the near death experience.
If YOU are going to be
writing a scene similar to this situation with Carter Kane in The
Serpent's Shadow by Rick Riordan, than please choose wisely with
where you put your descriptions of a room or anything else in your
scenes!
Someone
like me may come along and ask, why did you describe that
when your character is about to be blown to a trillion particles?
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